Thursday, August 4, 2011

My Bipolar Outlook

So, I'm still hurt and still not running.  I heard from my running coach today who said it takes 2 weeks off to lose endurance you've built up.  Well, 2 weeks is a mere 2 days away, and I'm still not 100%.  Praise the Lord, my foot is feeling much, much better.  Not perfect, but soooo much better!!  But now I have pain in my shin on the same side, similar to an electric-shock sort of feeling I got in the same shin during my half-marathon.  Therefore, I'm still not quite ready to run.  Sarah gave me a great pep talk earlier this week reminding me I HAVE to take the time off.  I'm kind of at a breaking point, where I either take off enough time to fully heal and then work my butt off to catch up in training, or I run too soon and get injured again, making it nearly impossible to be ready for the race. I feel like my mind is so bipolar this week.  Two completely different trains of thought take turns racing through my mind:

1) I'll never make it.  I've missed too much time.  I'm not ready to run yet, and I'm now dozens of miles behind.  This weekend I'm supposed to run 13 miles.  The distance of a half-marathon.  And right now I can't even run 2.  I could try to maintain my endurance by cycling at the gym for 2 hours (like real cycling, not "Us Weekly" reading style of cycling...), but, I'll be honest, just the thought of that kinda makes me want to die.

2) I'm going to do this.  It's not too late.  I will suck it up and give it my all.  I want this so bad.  If I have to ride that darn bike for 2 hours a day, I'll do it.  If I have to run at 4:00 am once I can in order to leave an hour to recover and stretch every day, I'll do it.  I'll do whatever it takes to run this race, and run it well.  Crossing that finish line will make every single ounce of effort worth it.

I'm not really sure what side is winning right now.  It's a pretty strong tie for the most part.  I know this next week will be the tie breaker.  Sarah, I'll be calling you for a pep talk soon... :)


Sarah & Christie said...

WE are so going to survive this injury, C! One day at a time. Dont look too far ahead and start calculating (eww, math!) all the days you're missing/need to do etc... Be grateful for this hitch in your giddy-up :) It's from Him who made you and has His hand on your life. God is GOOD, so something amazing will come from it :) Loves ya! -Sarah

Nicole Wagner said...

You are amazing and You WILL DO THIS! Running is 90% your desire and will. xx